"Et tu, Cleanflicks?"

As you have all come to expect, the stalwart interns here at Boast HQ will not rest until we, like the NY Times, have updated you with "all the news that's fit to [post]." How else do you think our world-wide readership topped 300,000 last month? Well I can tell you that it isn't by posting controversial little nasties about a certain former movie-editing franchise that is "NOT Affiliated in Any Way with Daniel Dean Thompson, a Convicted Felon Recently Arrested on Sexual Abuse Charges."

Hey, speaking of...

Did you hear Ray Lines, CEO of Cleanflicks, telling everyone, "[Daniel] Thompson was never a partner, officer, affiliate, dealer, franchisee, collaborator, consultant or representative of any Clean Flicks entity in any capacity"? He pointed out that because of Thompson's scandal, "Our name has been dragged through the mud and it's not right." Boy, it sure isn't right, and it's a good thing that Cleanflicks isn't associated with this guy because nothing brings your business down like criminal activity.

Sarcasm aside [sigh], what Cleanflicks has done by releasing a statement and filing charges against Thompson is the equivalent of a schoolyard "Nuh-uh!" Like all businesses who appreciate a good sports metaphor, Cleanflicks has adopted the philosophy that "the best defense is a better offense." Ask the Patriots about that one, Ray.

What I see is Thompson claiming one thing and Lines another. It's not like Daniel Thompson has only just started making this claim - he's been doing it since the courts ruled that the movie-editing business was bad (and by bad I mean illegal) business. We didn't hear Cleanflicks filing lawsuits and non-affiliation then and it's not like they weren't being dragged through the proverbial mud of public perception. But now the company who made such a show of being picked on by Hollywood is now suing Thompson for $1.1 million in damages, fees, and awards. What makes me sad is that because of this, Ray Lines and Daniel Thompson will probably never be friends.

The official Boast, M.D. diagnosis:
Cleanflicks suffers from acute martyrdomitis (the interns watch a lot of House) - first it's Hollywood, now it's the lying pedophiles.

The Boast Judges:
Not one finger - but two!




[Link to Cleanflicks statement]
[Link to SLTrib article]
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More Cleanflicks

Wipe that wink off your logo!
I've posted a couple of times on the supreme cheekiness of a company touting moral high ground while selling unauthorized and illegal versions of edited movies. However, much to my surprise, owner of the re-opened Orem, UT location of Cleanflicks, Daniel Thompson, keeps pushing the levels of irony to laughable proportions.

It seems that the mole in charge of illegally cutting movies in the sweaty basement has also had a few side activities that wouldn't become one so bent on cleanliness. Daniel Thompson and Isaac Lifferth have both been booked into jail for paying 14 year-old girls for sex acts.

Although, after the courts ordered them to stop doing business the first time, they did change their name from Cleanflicks to Flix Club... hmmm. I guess it's not so ironic after all. My bad.

Anyway, the undernourished staff writers here at Boast have been working all afternoon (their sleepy-time) on new names for the next time someone decides to continue this silliness:

FlixXx Club
The Club (for private members... you know *wink*)
Prison Flix, or Flix Prison (we're a bit undecided on this one)
A club for guys who watch hours of sex and violence frame-by-frame.
Jim Cunningham's Heroes

It can always get worse/better (choose one).


[Link to the KSL article]
[Related Boast articles here, and here]

Clean Flicks? Not Anymore

A U.S. District Court has ruled that content editing and duplication of DVDs and VHS tapes is a violation of federal copyright laws. U.S. District Judge, Richard P. Matsch, says,

"Their [studios and directors] objective ... is to stop the infringement because of its irreparable injury to the creative artistic expression in the copyrighted movies... There is a public interest in providing such protection."

This is, of course, very true as I have previously mentioned - and yes, there is public interest in preserving artistic expression. The judge has ruled that the specific companies involved in the legal battle (Cleanflicks, CleanFilms, Family Flix USA, and Play it Clean Video) must shut down and relenquish their inventories to the proper authorities.

...Meanwhile, back at the Strawman Ranch, Daniel Thompson, owner of the Utah County CleanFlicks stores and stalwart movie-hater, cries out,

"It's sad that Hollywood finds it wrong to take out profanity, sexual content and nudity."

Fortunately for all of us dirty, rancid pervs, we were too engrossed in our un-edited filth to hear his warning call - but we did note that the Judge said the ruling was because of copyright violation and not because we all want to indulge in "profanity, sexual content and nudity." Apparently moral superiority excludes abiding by the laws of the land. Well, not anymore.

As a side note, I find it interesting that he didn't criticise Hollywood for violence.

Now leave me alone, I'm going to go watch The Insider, To Live, The Thin Red Line, Billy Elliot, Gosford Park, The Man Who Wasn't There, Bowling for Columbine, Psycho, Manhattan, The Three Colors Trilogy, and American Splendor.


[Link to quoted material]
[Link to Deseret News]
Believe it or not, the press section on the CleanFlicks web site doesn't mention any of this recent news.

**Huge, gargantuan News Update**
It's really difficult to believe that the 'Clean'Flicks boys are genuinely interested in (your) morality when they get busted for having sex with underage girls in their store.
[Link to KSL article]


Tagged under:
Entertainment, News

Sterilized Meaning - in a humorously annoying kind of way

A while back, I had the opportunity to watch the James L. Brooks film, Spanglish. The experience was, however, rather strange and unsettling, largely because it wasn'’t just Spanglish, it was a Clean Flicks version of the film that some friends had lent us. This was the first time I had submitted myself to one of their sterile bastardisations, and this only because I didn'’t contribute in any way to the financial support or endorsement of their shady practise (cheeky, I know, but I have my standards). Their website claims that they remove all profanity, nudity, graphic violence (rather ambiguous and misleading terminology that allows them to take the moral high ground while not restricting the proverbial market share), and sexual content, which was absolutely spot-on in the case of Spanglish. Unfortunately, as will happen, the process by which this material is removed also inevitably means that certain structural and contextual elements will be affected, thus altering the overall narrative, even if only slightly - which I would argue is still a deceitful trick played out by faceless people with evil designs (come and let'’s hold hands, so we can be afraid together).

I understood all of this beforehand and was, I thought, sufficiently prepared. The last I had really looked into the film was when it was still in the cinema and I read an interesting review by Jonathan Rosenbaum. What I had stupidly forgotten was the recurring theme of miscommunication and how, when certain things are removed from a conversation (like vocabulary/dialog) there is likely to also be a subsequent loss of understanding.

[Enter: The Dragon]

As I sat there watching what is, admittedly, a rather disconcerting film to begin with, I had the distinct feeling that, like the characters in the film, I too was missing something quite vital to the overall understanding of the picture. Certain scenes, having been unrighteously cut because of content, began midway or stopped abruptly thus undermining the real force behind many of the characters' actions and ultimately the central message of the film. I truly felt like the non-english-speaking character, Flor, (apart from the fact that she's a woman, people) whose confusion at being excluded from certain fundamental levels of understanding became quite comical, if ultimately frustrating. However, Brooks used the lack of English subtitles during Spanish dialog (among other somewhat crafty techniques) to create a sense of misunderstanding leading to compelled empathy. If he'’d only called the sweaty little mole in the Clean Flicks dungeon to cut the film instead, he might have saved some time and money shooting those 'unnecessary' bits in order to create the same effect.

The Clean Flicks web site happliy proclaims that this is all because, "It's About Choice!"
Only in the fascist sense my friends, because my choices were completely stripped after I decided to watch the thing.


[Mike previously posted a version of this on another ranty blog]