Kiera: Spotted

It was a sunny day, I was walking along in Hyde Park, enjoying my lunch break, when who should pass, listening to her ipod?

Kiera Knightley

I was tempted to make this into an interesting dissection upon the nature of celebrity, stardom and all the rest of it, and in fact an unprovoked comment from one of my colleagues did initially lead in this direction. After telling them I had seen her, he said casually ‘yeah, she lives in lancaster gate, just down the road, (Pause) I see her all the time…’

The pause in his speech was, I now realise, crucial. I see her all the time? Did he mean at her place, or the park? Or on the television? Or on big posters and magazine adverts? I thought therin lies the crux of the problem with modern celebrity – where does our engagement with them stop? Would it have been appropriate for me to go up to her and say hello in the manner of Capt. Jack Sparrow aka Keith Richards? Isn't I see you all the time the kind of comment a stalker makes? Should I be wary of my workmate?

However, after seeing a ‘star’ it was inevitable my thoughts took me onto a completely different – and slightly less intellectual level. What really confirmed that it was Kiera (stalking aside, I do feel like I’m on first name terms now, having walked past her an’ all) was that she pouts. I did a double take as I walked past to check it was her, and as if on queue she did this funny thing with her mouth muscles - they went into a sort of amphibian-breathing-for-air-style. I thought it was just an effect for Pirates of The Caribbean, - or the next olympic sport- but it now seems more like an uncontrollable, and potentially career-breaking, mouth disorder…

Once I get over the shock of having seen Kiera I will post a photo of said pout – there’s bound to be one on some mouth disorder charity website.


p.s. for the record I looked, she looked, I looked again, she pouted. Not once did I pout back m’lord.